"Self-preservation"

You. Loved. Hurt. Faithful. Cheated. Have you already wondered why? Maybe, just maybe, you forgot the word 'Self-preservation'.

You've been in a relationship many times and was hurt. You've been faithful and was cheated. You tried so hard to fix a broken relationship, and you failed countless times. Don't you know why?

You are in a relationship you are not fitted. You're getting used to having such kind of relationship that sometimes you forget your own worth as a woman.

You put 'Self-preservation' in a box and left it somewhere. You've venture into relationship with men hoping that they can save you from the past - brokenness, insecurities and self-pity.

You forget that, sometimes, heartaches and miseries are brought by wrong decision, fault assurance and lack of 'self-preservation'. Remember: woman, you are the most precious gift a man can have. Don't bargain yourself on something not your worth. 

Say "Yes" when you're ready ...

Sometime in 2013, I met this woman in my workplace. She always have had lunch alone in the table, walked alone to her office and did errand in her own everyday. I saw it in her eyes that she's a lonely soul.

One lunch time, I approached her if I can share her table and she replied with meek smile. I started conversation with her by asking her some basic details - her name, age, when she started working and so on. Then we shared table during lunch break the following days and we became comfortable with each other.

Our conversation became more serious and personal as day went by. She shared some past relationship stories with me and because I can't contribute to this kind of sharing, I just listened to her with all ears.

She would tell about how many boyfriend she have had, from how they met to how they broke up, and how she misses having a boyfriend after one break up. Then, she would tell about how bad guys are, that they are cheater, user, and that they just want s*x. I was a bit confused to her views about man, she loves the feeling of having a boyfriend and at the same time she hate them, she even memorizes their vices like a song.

Do men really bad? Cheater? User? Do men really just want s*x? Do you agree with her? I don't agree with her for some reasons.

Men are not bad, they also love to be loved and they also need respect and appreciation like girls do. They are not born cheater, but like us (women) they might fall for others too if you don't take good care of them. If they are user, they shouldn't have put an effort to ask you to be his girl at the first place. And if they only wanted s*x, they should have paid for it and leave minus commitment.

But he like her and woo her thinking she is the woman he needs in his life. But the question is, considering her negative views about them and that she's a victim of past bad relationship, why she said "Yes"? Because she misses the feeling of having a boyfriend.

What happened next? She have this guy and she feels completed. Then, she slowly becoming paranoid - questioning and doubting his genuineness. And she did it in all her relationship. It became her habit - jumping from one lover to another without unloading her baggage from the past relationship. It became her routine and she was eaten by her anger, grudges, negativeness and she was slowly losing her confidence,  becoming lonelier and making herself feel less of a woman.

She's in pain and felt unloved for so long. She detached herself to the real world - always alone and does things by her own. She even forgot that she is a woman, strong and vibrant and that she is worthy of any man's love.

So, woman, say "Yes" when you have already unloaded your baggage from the past relationship. Say "Yes" when you're ready. Remember that, you deserve much more love than you've been asking for.

No one wants to be a rebound ...

Last week, I have had a semi-serious conversation with one of my guy friend. He was asking my opinion in regards with his present relationship condition (with his ex-girlfriend & the girl he's liking). So this is how his story goes;

She talks to him regularly, exchanges text messages and lend her ears to him. She's being sweet and she shows him extra attention. He is now liking her. But his ex-girlfriend suddenly appears to his life again. She seems to be interested in him again. Maybe her intention is real, or maybe she's just now claiming what she once hold because someone else is interested (whatever her intention is, it's not our business here).

And here is his stated problem:

He likes her but his world was shaken after his ex's sudden appearance. He wants her to be his girl but he is now experiencing unstable emotion. He wanted to ask her so soon because he is afraid she might leave him in the next few months if it takes him too long to ask her.

And I told him: "Don't ask her to be your girlfriend. Not until you have fully unloaded your baggage from the past relationship. It's obvious that she likes you too and you don't have to be afraid of losing her just because you took it too long to ask her. If you ask her now, it will be risky for both of you considering that you are emotionally unstable at this moment, you might lose her forever. Don't ruin your present relationship with her just because of your fears. Remember: No one wants to be a rebound. Good thing comes to those who wait."

I am Single because Mr. Right is nowhere :)

Nowadays, I've been so busy attending friends and colleagues wedding ceremonies and their children's baptism & birthday. I have been reconnecting to a group of friends only to find myself cannot connect to their topics - married life, plans for their family's future, monthly bills, kids education, etc.

But the funny-sad things about this reunion is that they always find me all by myself carrying a bag loaded with answers to their unending questions: "When will you get married?", "Where is your Mr. Right?", "When will we be meeting your Mr. Swerte?", "Where is he, the one you been dating for awhile?", "Aren't you being so picky?" and so on. Next to this is their wanna-be-cupid styles, expect a lot of recommended gentlemen from them. More often, they accused me of being a 'Picky Woman', a 'Hopeless Lover' and an 'Undecided Creature'.

Okay. So here it is. I am an average woman and I am also wooed by a lot guys since then. Naks!.. It's not that they didn't fit my standard (standard doesn't matter if you fall in love), it's just that all those times, I never find myself being ready of the so-called romantic relationship they asked from me. I think it's unfair for the guy and for myself if I venture on something I am not sure of. And I am not the type of a person who just settle, I believe that to love and to be loved is one of the most important factor in every relationship.

Years had passed and so is my immaturity. I met these guys, became friends and started dating. Later on, stop wooing, leaving me hanging with goodbye words: "You deserve someone better", "You're better with someone worth it." and the like.

So I ended up still single and it seems like forever. But as long as forever (with God)  is here, I will still be waiting for the right person. A man who doesn't think that I deserve someone better than him. Someone who knows that every woman will be better with any man, as long as he loves her, protects her & respects her.

Today, I'm still single because Mr. Right is nowhere.

Sweet Escape to Mimbalut Falls of Iligan City

Mimbalut Falls of Iligan City

It was one bright day of our vacation in Iligan City, May 5, 2014, when my cousins, my brother and I decided to go outdoors to see what the city offers for us. We were brought by our feet to the undeniably beautiful Mimbalut Falls.

Mimbalut Falls is one of the most enticing gift of nature to be found in Iligan City. Its alluring water cascades down the trail with lots of rocks, forming many little streams.

At the center of the
approximately 90 feet water falls.

At the foot of the falls view by
treading into big rocks.

You will truly enjoy the pounding cascades closer by treading carefully into big rocks. You sure want to take extra care while striding because rocks are slippery and there are no lifeguards in the area.

My brother at the edge of the pool basin
along the trail up to the Eco park.

Trekking up to Eco park.

The place has many pool basins down the falls. You can feel the water rumbling as it hits big rocks down to the river. And by trekking up, before you will reach the top you will also find other small pools where you can both enjoy swimming and the top view.

Relaxing at the Eco Park found at the top of Mimbalut Falls.

Good news for those adventure lovers, there is zip line ride where you will have to see the overall view and enjoy the splashes of water. You can also try cable cart, hanging bridge walk, trampoline and a swing - both at the edge of the cliff. You can find it all at the Eco park, so get ready to trail up a breathless steps!

So when you are in Iligan City and you're up for an adventure, don't forget to put Mimbalut Falls on your list. The place is surely perfect for beating summer heat.